Friday, January 7, 2011

this is your stash on drama

I have had a totally overwhelming couple of days. Family drama, work stress, weather, traffic...the works. migraines. dark circles. I'm a hot mess, and not the good kind.

Somewhere in my throng of maniacal erranding this afternoon, I found myself with 30 minutes to spare, and I just HAPPENED to be a couple of blocks from my LQS. I popped in thinking I'd browse or just sit on the sofa by the cookies and breath in happiness for a minute.

So I took an innocent stroll back to the clearance room (YES! there's a clearance room! but it totally sucks. you don't need to go check it out. nothing good is ever there.), and just like Rachel Zoe, I die.

I lose myself. I black out. I am screaming, pulling bolts off the wall and piling them on the floor in a mountain I think I'm going to carry out to the cutting table.

Clearance!!

I'm texting. I'm shouting. A woman drops and loses her wedding ring. I'm on all fours, both looking for it and also defending my mountain.

Ooh, look, Katie Jump Rope!
Kjr

More texting. Garden Party. More texting. I can't carry it. I need a cart. I ask the ring lady to watch my mountain while I run to get a trolly from the front of the store. I'm suspicious.
I needed a cart

Now the cutting begins. Actually, there was just a little cutting. A few half-yards here, a yard there. And many "Gimme the whole bolt, Granny!" exclamations.

Honestly, I totally lost it. My brain malfunctioned. 8 bolts and 40-some-odd yards later, I'm looking at this stack and I'm starting to come to my senses.
Clearance!!!

Suddenly I remember that I resolved not to buy fabric in January. Granny has gone to the back room to get a bolt they haven't inventoried yet for me.

Granny: You want the whole bolt of this one?
Me:       No...I'll just take, um, 4 yards.
Granny: You sure? There's only about 5 here.
Me:       Oh, all right. But if anyone asks, I'll say you forced me.

Now this is why I love being a female. I proceed to say something about how my husband will flip, and Granny says, "I've got some plain brown bags under the counter. you need me to pack it in that instead of the normal one?"  She is totally serious.

At this point, we hug. I jump a little, even.

Also, there's a brown grocery bag on my front passenger seat right now. My husband is blogging at the kitchen table, and I don't want to risk it.

12 comments:

  1. LMAO!!!!!! That's hysterical! This has totally happened to me before! One of my local places put the whole store on sale and I about flipped out. I was hyperventillating! I also wish my LQS had some plain bags so my purchases wouldn't be noticed the moment I walk in the door! If you are interested in parting with some of that Garden Party give me a shout and we can swap! :)

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  2. Ha!!!!! I am on a fabric diet, and I got the email about that sale and have been pretending that I didn't. I am not allowed to buy, but swap I can...let me know if you have buyers remorse!!! LOL!!!

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  3. Thanks, Kelly - i need to go through my brown bag and then I'll let you know via flickr. thanks for the offer!

    Katie - I totally missed the fb announcement, but Granny said someone had been in the day before from "up north" and bought a ton of new AB markdown stuff and I wondered if it was you.

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  4. Great clearance finds! I'm proud...

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  5. Hilarious! You forgot to mention the phone conversation with me...
    Lindsay, "YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY HAVE ON SALE!!!!!"
    Me, "Who is there and where are you?"

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  6. or the fact that when I said, "they have a few colorways of the one that looks like Cholera" you knew _exactly_ what I was talking about.

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  7. too funny that they stash plain bags - you are so obviously not the first woman with this problem!

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  8. This is HILARIOUS! I've totally done this before, and felt like a complete maniac!! But I LOVE the plain paper bags...that Granny's a clever one, isn't she?!

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  9. Oh man. I think i need to make a road trip to indi. Thatbis some kind of clearance area!!! Did you buy all the kjr? Silly question. Of course you did. I think i need to suggest the brown paper bags to my boss....thats a hoot

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  10. Hi! I just found your blog! And this is exactly how I cope, er, well, binge. But after 10 years of watching me feed my emotions with fabric, my brilliant husband has finally learned to deal. In fact, I was uber stressed just last week and he gave me some cash and sent me to the fabric store. lol

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  11. OMG.....are you talking about Grandma Ginger? Love her. She saves my azz all the time from my hubby. To bad I could walk there from my house so my azz needs saving all the time.

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